17 YOU RUB A CAN OF CHEAP BEER AND A SMALL PUDGY SPIRIT IN A STAINED UNDERSHIRT EMERGES HE IS THE SHITTY GENIE AND HE’LL GRANT YOU ANY WISH AS LONG AS IT’S KIND OF SHITTY AND WON’T SUBSTANTIALLY CHANGE THE COURSE OF YOUR LIFE WHAT DO YOU WISH FOR

1. that…

I can toast bread with my mind, but only a whole loaf at a time.

I saw that somewhere once years ago and it still makes me laugh.

(source)

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