I'm still mad at myself for this.
When I was a preteen, my friend and I went to one of those day camps that picked us up in yellow school buses. One of the other kids on our bus was a younger boy I'll refer to as Eli.
Eli was a fucking terror. He would scream and spit and hump things, make a mess, and be as annoying and insufferable as possible. Riding the bus with him was a nightmare for everyone involved most of the time.
So I came up with this idea. I found his family in the phone book, and called up pretending to be a camp counselor. I told his mom that he was misbehaving on the bus and that he would either be disciplined or kicked out of the camp if he didn't stop.
She bought it, said she would talk to him about it. I felt so fucking smart.
Until the next day, when a quiet, sullen Eli showed up with a black eye.