1. hobbies…

Might be too late, but guys really enjoy side by side time.

A lot of people have already brought this up, so I'm really just putting a name on it. It took awhile for my wife to figure it out, but side by side time is when you are engaged in an activity with someone else, but not necessarily talking to them. You bond through the shared experience of the activity, not by talking to each other.

This is why so many guys reminisce about shared experiences and tell stories about things they did together. I also happen to think that side by side time is why guys like games so much. I game online with my good friends frequently, and we rarely get past "how are you" in terms of personal chat, but we all love it. Same goes for watching sports, playing boardgames, other hobbies and stuff.

So, if you really want to impress your husband/boyfriend, intentionally have side by side time with him. Pick an activity or hobby that he enjoys and just do it with him. Don't ask him if he's enjoying himself, or what he's thinking, if you have to, literally just sit next to him on the couch and watch the game with him. If he's comfortable with it, quietly watch him build his computer, or ask him how it works. Keep the conversation about the activity. Avoid asking him how he's doing unless he brings it up. Literally just be there with him. Sit and be there while he cleans his gun, or just read a book in the same room he's reading in.

(total side note: especially for women who are married to an introvert: If you really want to have a conversation, ask your husband/boyfriend about something they're interested in or enjoy. Point being, guys, and introverts in general, find it 10x easier to talk about something rather than themselves. Ask a guy how his day is: "Fine." Ask a guy to explain something about his favorite hobby: You will be there for hours.)

This is a generalization, but I think there's some truth in it, I think women tend to bond through verbal communication, and they get worried/nervous to just be there with their partner, side by side, because they aren't actually doing anything. But guys see that as bonding and caring.


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