I was at a sleepover in middle school. I had gotten new pajamas and everything. I was so excited because I really wanted to be friends with these girls.

Woke up in the middle of the night, only to find I had wet myself. I had to sneak into her sisters room where we put our bags to find a change of pants. All I had were jeans. When everyone woke up I told them I got cold…

My mom told me I smelled when I got in the car to go home. I told her their beagle smelled bad and slept with me all night.