1. "oh…

I was on a date and we decided to go to sushi (one of those decently affordable but kinda sketchy ones). I was really craving Korean short ribs cause that shit is the best. Lo and behold the sushi restaurant had it on the menu! Fantastic! I ate it, it was delicious. But on the bus ride home my tummy started to feel a little rumbly. No big deal. We would be home in 20. Well over the course of that bus ride it turned into a grave situation. Water at the floodgates kind of thing, but I was off the bus now and we started our 5 minute walk home.

I made it about 40 steps. It all started pouring out. Date was next to me (who was aware off my rumbly tumtums) and I just said "oh no, it's happening". The only thing that saved me was there was an area off the side where it was dark and no one would see me. I hid until my date got back with a pair of pants. I left the shit pants behind (I'm really sorry to whoever found that). I made him swear on his mom's grave that he would never tell anyone. We broke up, and to this day I still wonder if he kept his promise.

tl;dr never eat anything other than Japanese food at a sushi restaurant. you will shit your pants.


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