
Dr.: *Glances at my genitals* You have Herpes.
Me: But I've never had sex!
Dr.: Oh, stop crying. I diagnose this all the time. It's pretty common.
Me: But aren't you going to at least do a test
Dr.: Fine, but it's going to hurt and it's going to show herpes.
[Indeed, it was an allergic reaction to a medication.]
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