The college I attend frequently has local elementary and middle school kids on tours, especially on Fridays.
One particular Friday I was in line for the cafeteria when a group of kids came walking by with a tourguide. One kinda chubby little dude looked a bit uncomfortable. He was biting his lip a little, and sweating. This part of the tour is usually when they have a bathroom break, and clearly buddy needed to go. At this point I should note that the bathrooms are visible from where we're standing.
But the tour guide, a fellow student of mine, didn't seem to notice. She just kept going on and on, talking about the history of the building. I watched this kid go from nervous, to deeply anxious, to visibly clenching over a span of about 3 minutes. He's staring at the stick figure dude on the men's bathroom sign as if it was the risen Christ.
Ms. Tour Guide takes a break in her spiel. I figure she's done, the next words out of her mouth will be ones to free this boy from the purgatory that is having to use the bathroom on a school trip. It'll be over. He'll be free.
What followed, instead, was this.
"So in 1995, a professor named A.B.C. Kalamazoo-"
"Move lady, I'm gonna shit my ass!"
He ran past her to the bathroom, and presumably destroyed it. Poor guy. Had the entire line in tears with laughter though.