I'm still figuring that out too, but here are what helped me in the process:
- Sit with your feelings. Acknowledge it. There will be days where you just want to cry and do nothing in bed. Let yourself grieve and cry. As many times as it takes.
- Try to remove your ex from your social media feed. If you don't want to block them just yet, hide their posts/stories. This includes Spotify if you both have it. Limiting their visibility on your feed would reduce the unnecessary trigger points.
- If you don't want to delete your chats, archive them. This helped me a lot because I wanted to reconnect back so bad, but i know it won't yield any good outcome. So anytime I want to reconnect back I made it hard for myself cause I need to go for the extra clicks.
- Also if you really want to reconnect and know you shouldn't, type what you want to say to your ex but don't send. Do something else like watch a youtube video, have a meal, read. Then come back to that text. Usually that urge subsides for me and I became more logical after walking away from it.
- Remove photos that you took together out of your sight. Take down social media posts that you had with your ex. I couldn't bring myself to delete my whole year worth of photos in my phone so I put them in my hard drive which I don't usually reach out for unless I want to back up stuff. In a way move the photos from your phone to some other drive that you don't usually see.
- When you can, pick up a new activity or pick up what you have dropped before. Could be as simple as researching on topics you were once interested in. Reading, watching shows that you never watched but said you would, go to a cafe.
- This is a hard one, but I realize is required for me to outgrow my ex. To consciously keep letting go. Over and over again. It's gonna hurt cause random times a memory will come up from a simple action like going to the store, coffee, cooking etc. This can happen as frequent as your brain wants it. When that feeling comes, go back to point 1. Then tell yourself that you are letting go of that. Let go of the expectations you have had for the future. Let go of that memory.
TL;DR sit with your feelings and cry as much as you need to, remove your ex from any feed that you see including photos, chats, social media, items too even. Do something new or something that you said you would but never got to do. Consciously letting go in your mind.